Long overdue

Hello blog followers!!
(all 8 of you) It's been a while, no? My life has been a crazy whirlwind. Some things welcome, some MOST unpleasant. It's time to grow as a person again and that is never a comfortable situation.
In the beginning of November my best friend was diagnosed with breast cancer. I can not even tell you how hard I cried when she called me to tell me the news.
Sense then as crazy as my life has been hers has been an absolute whirl of doctors appointments and phone calls to the insurance company. Settling things at work and spending as much time with her kids as humanly possible. All culminating in the grand finally of a double mastectomy on November 30th. She is home now, resting and for the moment cancer free. She will need chemo after the first of the year but for now is enjoying the holidays with her family.
I think the hardest part for me is wading through all the new emotions swirling through my brain. My heart breaks for her and her husband and her kids. I am not fearful for her life, her doctors have made it clear that her prognosis is good. But I am scared for the physical and emotional changes that she will have to endure. I am scared that I can't be enough help. I am worried I will be forced to be useless. I can't go through cancer with her, the surgery or the chemo. I am left standing on the sidelines chasing after her shouting all the things I can do.
After all those thoughts have burned through my brain come the guilt. What are my woes compared with hers? She has cancer for Christs sake! What's happening in my life that is anywhere near as bad as that? How dare I worry about not being enough help in that face of what she is going through.
I am worried about this cold that is kicking my butt, will I get the kids cakes done in time? Will be house be clean for the party? Or will I still have laundry strewn on my bedroom floor with the door quietly shut. Retail therapy has NEVER looked more inviting then it does right now. Ahh well c'est la vie.