This is it people!

I have a confession to make. I fail at Christmas cards. 

I didn't used to suck!! I used to send them out every year with loving heartfelt messages and carefully selected photos. Over the last few years I kinda fell off the wagon. The evidence?

2011 - I run out of stamps halfway through mailing cards and ask my husband to mail the rest from work. I would write him a check for postage. I should mention I had double pneumonia and was incapable of taking myself to the store to get more stamps. Sometime in April I borrow his car and find the cards I gave him sitting in a pile in the back seat......

2012 - I order cards. They sit in the box they came in under my desk until I finally end up recycling them sometime in June. Shameful I know.

2013 - This year....well, this year I didn't even order them. 

I really do feel awful! I have received many many beautiful cards in the mail from friends and family and each one of them makes me feel super guilty. (Especially the ones from certain ridiculously talented invitation designer I know. Her cards are works of art from the envelope in, every year and I am insanely jealous.) One of my amazing neighbors came over with a plate of cookies she and her triplet girls baked and decorated together, and a beautiful card. As touched and as thankful as I am to receive each of these cards, I allow each one to twist the sharp dagger of guilt just a little more.

But then again......... This year I went to three Christmas parties at school. This year I baked three dozen sugar cookies complete with icing for a Girl Scout party. This year I put together 12 gingerbread houses. Not because we needed 12, but because I screwed up the first batch of royal icing so badly that it ruined the first 6 houses and mom and I had to make a 6 PM the night before the party run to Target to buy six more. And then assemble them. Good times people. This year I threw 3 birthday parties between November and December mostly stress free. I loved on my kids and  kept my house clean. I spent time with my husband. I laughed with my sisters over piles of wrapping paper and "a 40's Christmas" on XM radio.

I think I will cut myself some slack this year and send out this blog post instead. Maybe next year what I really need to do is hire that invitation designer .......

Merry Christmas!

From our family to yours, wishing you all the best for this holiday season and the new year to come.

Melissa, Eric, Daden, Tessa, Ryder, and good old No Name

Yep, baby wishes you a Merry Christmas too!

Happy Birthday Tessa Bear!

Eight years ago I had one child and was about to have another. Our first girl! I was tired. Scratch that, exhausted, cranky, achey, and in general done being pregnant. I love my little Tessa Riley, but man was her pregnancy a tough one! Her birth wasn't a ton better. Not horrific, or traumatizing, thank God. Just not......well, not.
This is what Eric and I were doing on the night before Tessa was born. Hey don't judge me! I swear we were at Eric's bosses tacky Christmas party. Really. As exciting as it was answer "tomorrow" when people asked when the baby was coming, I was bone tired and really wanted to be asleep. Not at a party watching everyone else have cocktails. The food was good though.

There wasn't as large a crowd for Tessa as for Daden. Partly because the maternity wing at Kaiser Sunnyside Hospital was undergoing renovations (which would be complete a few months after Tessa was born, awesome huh?) and our room was TINY. Seriously the tiniest delivery room ever. I am not claustrophobic by any stretch, but I felt it in that room. It's hard to be uncomfortable and cramped all at the same time.
Also because Eric's parents were now at their house with 2 year old Daden. Here he is right here:

Just look at that face! Don't you just want to pinch those cheeks?

My parents, my sisters, Ashley, and Eric made up my audience this time.
I also had an OB for the first (and last!) time. It wasn't my choice, I had a bunch of preterm labor issues with her and they made me see an OB. Don't get me wrong, he was a nice enough guy. But he was of the "I've been delivering babies for 40 years and I know how to do this better then you" mentality. He may have broken my water when I was only three cm, (ouch btw) but I do have to give him credit he managed to get Tess out without any tears or an episiotomy. I heard later there was mineral oil and stretching involved, but all I remember is that it hurt like hell even through my epidural. I actually looked at Eric and cried that I couldn't do it. Bless his soul he looked right in my eyes and said "yes you can". I love that man.
(I'm crying now remembering this. Stupid pregnancy hormones!)

Anyway here we are waiting.

Who remembers the flip phone? I think she's texting...

See how tiny? Not cool.

Here we are it's go time! I got my epidural at 5 PM, when I was 5.5 CM dilated. At 5:40 I demanded that the nurses check me again I felt so much pressure. They didn't want to because they just had forty min ago. Tessa was born at 5:54. Take that nurses.

Tessa was born! Look at these three! They are so freaking excited, I love them.

Here she is. All 6 lbs 4 oz and 20 inches of her. Look at those cheeks!! Man oh man did she scream. It should have been an omen....

I kid. (Not really)

This picture is making me cry right now.

And just like that we were a family of four. AWESOME.

I have to say, though the food was abysmal, my recovery from Tessa's birth was nothing short of miraculous. SO much different then with Daden. I didn't have the whole passing urine problem. Probably because I made the nurses leave the catheter in until the next morning. I had zero desire to repeat that first night with Daden. I even did better and let Tess sleep in the bassinet for a little while. Hey a gal needs to be able to hold her coffee. Though I did spend copious amounts of time staring into her perfect little face. 

By the next morning I was up and about in my tiny little recovery room. I had let Eric go home to sleep, no sense in both of us losing sleep in that tiny hospital room. Besides if I let him out of the hospital he can bring me starbucks on the way back in! I'm a thinker. Eric was shocked to see how alert and chipper I was the next morning and I admit I totally felt a difference. 

Fast forward eight years and here we are

Happy birthday my sweet love. Always my baby girl, I have treasured every moment of watching you grow and change into this beautiful young lady. (Yes even the moments when you are being naughtier than I ever imagined possible) I am proud of you, and I am proud to be your mother. 

Someday you will be a mother yourself and you will understand the fierce love that means being a mother. The kind that allows you to keep on loving even when you come in from pulling weeds and your daughter and her friend are sitting on top of the kitchen table with bath towels trying to mop up the paint and water they spilled EVERYWHERE. 

In hindsight, I really should have taken a picture of that.........

Ten years ago today

Didn't I cover how times flies in the last post? Maybe I did. Well it bears repeating because today my oldest son turns 10! That's right people, he's a whole decade old. I am not a decade older....but somehow he's 10. Something weird in the time space continuum, you'd have to be a Time Lord to understand...

Today's post is dedicated to his birth. 

My first birth. It was awesome. 

It was quick, six total hours of labor, 30 min of pushing. 

It was fun! 

You will see in the pictures how many people were there to support me, and no I do not have a shred of modesty left. Lets break it down:

Eric was there, of course

My mom

My dad

Eric's mom

Eric's grandma

Eric's dad, though he waited in the lobby

Danielle

Alexa

Ashley

Jennifer

Kellyn

1 midwife

3 nurses 

and a partridge in a pear tree!

It never even occurred to me that this might be a lot of people. In hindsight my midwife gets an award for delivering a baby with a stadium full of people. Below are some of my favorite pictures from his birth. I left out anything graphic. My dad actually had strict instructions to not photograph anything too gory, but it was his first grandchild, he got a little carried away. Bless him.

Here we go!
For the few weeks proceeding my induction I had been trucking up from our house all the way to OHSU every three days for an NST and AFI. I had been told, that depending on the results of those tests that I needed to be prepared to stay and have a baby. However after two weeks of testing and being sent home sans baby, I was less than convinced that I was ever going to stay and have that baby.
Early on the morning of December 11th Eric and I got up and got ready to head to OHSU for testing, yet again. I was in a less than fantastic mood and skipped breakfast. I also left my hospital bag at home because you know, I was not going to stay and have a baby.
I was wrong.

We were waiting in the lobby for the test results, imagine my surprise when instead of the nurse the midwife popped her head into the waiting room and announced it was baby time! Fortunately my mother was kind enough to stop by my house and get my hospital bag. Knowing that I wouldn't be allowed to eat once labor started I begged my midwife to let me eat before they started pitocin. She laughed and ordered me a grilled cheese and tomato soup from the cafeteria.

Fast forward a few uneventful hours of laboring and an epidural, my entourage has shown up.

The peanut gallery anxiously awaits the report from the midwife. She says its' go time! Can you see the excitement on their faces?

The next two pictures are probably my favorite two pictures ever. Danielle got to help deliver Daden so she is gloved up standing next to my business, Jennifer, Ashley, and Alexa are leaning in so they won't miss a thing.

LOL I laugh every single time I look at these seriously. Daden's head was crowning at this point and their reaction is priceless.

Here he is!!! All 6lbs 3oz and 19.5 inches of him. He was perfect if I do say so myself. And I do, you know cause I'm his mom.

My first look, and my first child. I was absolutely in love. I forgot all about the last six hours and just stared into his tiny perfect face. 

After this they whisked him away and weighed and measured and bathed. Someone brought me a GIANT turkey sandwich and chips which reminded me how hungry I was. It was seriously the best sandwich ever. I didn't know, but while I was eating my midwife has my placenta all stretched out on a tray and was showing the girls all the different parts and explaining how everything worked. I'm a little sorry I missed it! 

After everything calmed down it was time to move to recovery. The nurse brought over a wheelchair to take me to our room. I looked her right in the face and told her I was NOT going to ride in that I would be walking TYVM. She laughed and told me that if I could get out of bed and stand on my own I was welcome to walk. Two things, one it was a good thing I was not holding Daden, and two it was a VERY good thing that Eric was standing next to me. I rode in the wheelchair.

That night I experienced pain worse than labor. I was too swollen to pass urine and it took FOREVER to get the OB to come in and examine me and approve a catheter. I had two very unsympathetic nurses (thanks midnight shift change) and by the time they cathed me I was in so much pain I was sobbing. The mean nurse hooked up the bag wrong and ended up with pee all over her scrubs and my bed. Which did mean I had to get up so she could change the sheets, but I didn't care, mean nurse has pee all over her and my bladder didn't feel like it was ripping in half anymore. They got two liters out of my bladder. 

I held Daden the entire first night. I never once put him in the bassinet. Which I don't recommend by the way. My arm was shaking so bad from muscle fatigue the next morning I could barely hold my coffee! But I couldn't help myself,  I couldn't stop staring at his beautiful tiny face. I look into his face now and see a miniature version of my husband. Down to the dimples, and the "I'm up to no good but you love me anyway" smile. The last ten years have held so much magic, wonder, heartache, and headache, but I wouldn't trade any of it for a moment without him.

Happy birthday little dude. Your mom and dad love you more then you will ever know.

That is until the day when you have your own child.....

Well this is embarrassing.....

Uh, wow.

When I woke up this morning and felt the itch to write a blog post, I had NO idea that it had been two years since my last posting. I thought maybe it had been a year which is bad enough. But TWO years? Awkward........so assuming that after two years I still have readers, I present to you, the first posting of 2013!

This was kind of an uneventful year. Don't get me wrong, uneventful is not a bad thing! While it does make for a smaller, less impressive yearly photo album, it was nice to have a quiet year after last years craziness! I missed a huge opportunity last year not blogging about my sisters wedding. SO many cool photos and happenings there. Alas.
The coolest thing I did this year? Eric and I took our first vacation without our kids since our honeymoon. It was amazing! We spent four beautiful, sunny days in Anaheim California. The main reason for our trip (aside from time alone with each other) was to attend BlizzCon. For those of you who have no idea what that is, it's a convention put on by Blizzard Entertainment to showcase their current games, announce new ones, and host the finals for the world arena tournaments. It. Was. Epic. I was absolutely blown away by the scope of the event and the number of people in attendance. Which came in at around 20,000. Amazing
We watched art presentations, sound demonstrations, pretty darn epic costume contest, and we got to try out the new World of Warcraft expansion; Warlords of Draenor.

After BlizzCon we were so fortunate to meet up with our good friends (and newlyweds!), Danny and Mirna. We spent a fantastic day in Disneyland and California Adventure. I have to say, taking my kids to Disneyland was a wonderful, magical experience that I honestly can't wait to have again. That said, going to Disneyland with just my husband has a magic all it's own. With the added bonus of being able to look at whatever I want in the shops without someone asking for a toy every second :P 

I also learned that Disneyland all decorated for Christmas is my new favorite thing. Sorry mom, your house looks awesome, but Mr Disney out did you on lights!

This is happening. It was a pretty big surprise, not going to lie. And while I am over the moon excited to have another baby, I fully admit to being just a tiny bit apprehensive about where the new baby is going to live. And also how we will afford said baby. However I fully believe that the good Lord provided this baby and he will provide for it's care. Which I am sure involves teaching me to be more frugal!

I am excited to sit back and enjoy this pregnancy. I am not working this time round, and I vow to enjoy every min of growing this little miracle, instead of worrying about throwing up at work. 

I am excited to go into labor on my own! (I hope) Daden, Tessa, and Ryder were all planned inductions. While I had three very successful deliveries, I feel like I missed out a little. I am looking forward to the excitement of "it's time"!

I am excited to nurse longer! I failed each and every time pumping at work for the last three and this time I am determined to nurse longer than three months! I always felt so bad cutting them off while they were still so little.

I am excited to enjoy watching a baby grow without counting down the days until I have to leave it to go back to work.

I am absolutely dying to find out whether it's a boy or girl. DYING.  I am 12 weeks pregnant and 8 more weeks just seems way too long to wait to find out. I have looked up all sorts of at home/old wives tales to find out early. So far the ancient Chinese gender prediction chart says girl. The baking soda test says girl. My gut kinda says boy. 

Can I tell you a secret? I really, really, hope it's a girl. Does that make me a bad mom? :P