Better late then never?

*Confession time; a little later on down this blog post, I will tell you about how one of my resolutions for 2015 is to blog once a week. Now is when I will tell you that I have that one photo of Ronan there, and the first paragraph written for like two weeks, sitting in an open tab on my browser. I'm busy, don't judge...*

This is is people. This is my Christmas card. Merry Christmas!

I may never send actual cards again, just saying. See it's really because I care deeply about our earth, and want to reduce my carbon footprint by not sending paper cards. See if I don't send them then I won't cause more greenhouse emissions asking the postman to deliver them. That's it. Really.
Not really.
Maybe next year.
But y'all don't mind right?

I suffer from a complete and total lack of time management skill. I am forever over filling my plate and I just keep right on filling. Some things that didn't get done this year; halloween pictures, Christmas cookie baking, neighbor gifts (Sorry amazing neighbors. You will just have to imagine how much I love and appreciate you), Christmas pillow covers, taking the lights off my artificial tree and replacing them with ones that work.

Despite my lengthy to do list, we did manage to survive the Christmas holidays, not just survived but dare I say we actually thrived. Dani and I took the kids to sort donations for Toys for Tots this year in an ongoing effort to help our kids see beyond themselves. I'm not sure how much progress we made toward that goal, but my heart was certainly warmed and we did do some good. Plus it was actually a ton of fun! Not surprisingly this was Ryders "best day ever!" If ever I could figure out how to live with this kids enthusiasm all my problems would be solved. Just his enthusiasm though, not the meltdowns.

 

One boy is a total ham, and the other one.. I can not get this kid to look at the camera for anything...anyone have any tips? Sheesh!

We had 16 for the Christmas sleepover this year. That's 16 stocking hanging up there, count em. It's truly amazing and also humbling, that we can gather together as a family, to be thankful for each other. To celebrate Jesus. And eat copious amounts of sugar. It's a glorious tradition...and a glorious sacrifice from my introverted husband, I don't think he had any idea what he was in for when he asked me to marry him....poor bastard. There he is right there in the corner of that photo snuggling our sweet sleeping baby. You guys how did I get so lucky?

So now here we are in the third freaking week of January 2015 already. Today is actually my beautiful baby niece Lydia's first birthday. Her first freaking birthday! Where the hell did the year go? While we're at it where did the first three weeks of 2015 go?! I swear it was just yesterday I made this list:

I am proud to report that I have actually crossed a few of those things off the list. I did streamline my craft supply, and I did clean out my master closet. Just doing those small (OK I lie those were BIG HUGE THING! HUGE THINGS.) made me feel SO much lighter.
I have not yet worked out at all, let alone for 30 min at least twice a week and lets not even get started on what my linen closet looks like. Baby steps people, baby steps.
I am however, quite serious about my goal to blog once a week. You see it's on my bucket list (I'm big on lists, and using parentheses in a sentence. Did you pick up on that?) to write the book that's been bouncing around in my head since I was 16. I'm too embarrassed to tell you about it so please don't ask. But I figure that if I can hone my writing skill by blogging once a week for a year, maybe grab a few more followers because lets be frank, eleven is pathetic. Even though I love all eleven of you, it would be huge for my self confidence to have more. A good bit of my self worth is tied to how many people like me. Childish I know but there you have it. That's a whole nother bog post altogether...
So there we are, my first post of 2015. I'm not proud of it, I'm rambling I know. But at some point I need to just post it or it will never be posted and 2015 is the year of getting shit done. So I will leave you with this. I found it while cleaning out my master closet. I told you I've been writing that book for a very long time. Ane yes, I at one point titled it "Window" terrible I know.

The last first time; Ronan the Barbarian

This post is bittersweet for me.
It is the first time I am writing about No Name (who would finally be named Ronan) and the last time I will write a birth story.
Sweet because our baby barbarian is so beautiful. Sweet because he completes our family in a way only God could design.
Bitter because he is my last baby. The season of my life for making babies has ended, and I find myself content with that. I think there will always be a longing to feel life inside you, but it has faded into a fond remembrance as I watch my little people grow and discover, I am contented.

This is the card that Tessa made for No Name the night I went into labor. I wasn't in labor when she made it, I was very much NOT in labor. But this happened much much later in the day.

Friday, June 13th I was 39 weeks pregnant. It was the last day of school for my big kids so I was up at six making pancakes, despite having been up almost all night with contractions.
Not the good you're in labor contractions, but the sucky do nothing but hurt kinda contractions as the picture to the right will demonstrate. I had a doctors appointment scheduled at 9AM so instead of slothing on the couch I showered and dressed while Eric shuffled the big kids out the door and onto the bus. I was exhausted. Not just tired, exhausted. The kind of bone crushing tired that only a 39+ week pregnant woman knows. So tired that when Eric went to hug me before walking out the door to work I dissolved into a sobbing mess.

Eric "What's wrong?!"
Me: "I'm tired and owie *sob*"

He called work to let them know he would be taking me to my doctors appointment. I tried to assure him that I was perfectly capable of taking myself, and that the appointment would be woefully uneventful, even though I was secretly SUPER glad he wanted to take me.

My appointment was pretty uneventful. I was still dilated to 2 and 80% effaced, as I had been for the last three weeks. The midwife was just certain labor was imminent given all the contractions I had been having and offered to strip my membranes to speed things along. To which I replied "YES PLEASE!" I returned home with a renewed sense of optimism (and a chocolate milkshake) and settled on the couch. I had intended to take a nice long walk.....I took a nap instead.

Fast forward to 7PM. I had ZERO contractions all day. Zero. I decided to sit in for raid that night but regretted the decision about ten minutes in. Even with exercise ball I was extra uncomfortable sitting at the computer, not to mention that we spent the entire three hour raid night wiping on heroic Malkorok. Not exactly a mood booster. It was after one particularly disastrous attempt that Tessa presented me with the card for No Name. It's amazing what a little art from ones daughter can do to improve ones mood.
When the raid folded at 10 I headed over to my couch nest to settle in for the night but found myself unable to get comfortable or relax. I felt wound up. Eric found me around 11 pacing a circle round our kitchen and living room and immediately ordered me to the couch. But I knew I wouldn't be able to settle in so I went upstairs to run a bath. IT wasn't the best bath I've ever had but it did the trick because I was finally able to sleep around midnight.

At 2:30AM the contractions started. I timed them for about an hour, they were between 40 seconds and 1 minute long, and about 3-5 min apart. These hurt more than the ones I had been having so I went to the garage to let Eric know that I thought it might be go time and he should probably try and get some sleep in before we had to head to the hospital. I couldn't sit down or lay down so very reasonably I decided I should clean the kitchen. Who wants to bring a new baby home to a dirty kitchen? But Eric yelled at me (not really, more like spoke sternly at me) to go lay down and try and get some rest myself. So I compromised by sitting on the exercise ball in front of Th Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring while Eric went upstairs to sleep.

I just contracted away. I kept waiting for other signs of labor. Bloody show, extra mucus, loosening of bowels, all that super lovely stuff, but nothing came. I thought it was labor. But I had been having so many contractions for weeks that the last thing I wanted to do was head to the hospital and still be dilated to 2. By 5AM I decided it was time to call the midwife to see if she thought it was time. She did think it was time, though I didn't get to tell her what was happening because I started sobbing the second she picked up the phone. She said these exact words to me "Honey if you're crying come in. We'll sort it out!" I was immediatly so relieved I cried more. I phoned mom to have her come and sit with the kids until we knew for sure it was baby day. No need to drag them all to the hospital for a false alarm. I woke Eric, changed clothes (cause having a baby is a fashion contest you know) and we headed in.

Turns out it was baby day!
Eric drove to the hospital at warp speed, with me telling him the whole time to slow down. We live 10 minutes from the hospital and I was pretty confident that the baby wasn't going to shoot out before we got there. Turns out I was right. Shocker I know. We checked in at 6:15. I was a little disappointed to only be dilated to 4 but hey at least it was time! They monitored baby and I for a bit then unhooked me so I could labor in peace.

At 7 AM I opted to try the tub which felt AMAZING. I was able to relax and drift. Eric hung out at the edge of the tub holding my hand. He leaned over and lovingly whispered "Honey, we need to name the baby." After a bit of back and forth I conceded that if I was not to be allowed Leo, Leon, or Fox, that Ronan was the only other name I liked. Hence No Name became Ronan Fox.

By 8 AM the contractions had really picked up and the tub didn't feel good anymore. At one point I forgot one of the three birth affirmations I had memorized to keep me focused and calm. Which had the effect of making me NOT calm while I panicked about having forgotten one of them, which made me forget the rest. At that point I knew I needed out of the tub. Something, anything to help me regain focus. My amazing labor nurse came and helped me dry off and settle into the bed so she could check on baby and see what progress I had made. People. I was dilated to 5. I wanted to punch a kitten. My head was spinning, the contractions hurt SO much more lying in bed. I wanted to get up but I was so tired. Thoughts of my previous peaceful relatively pain free medicated births swirled with doubt that I would be able to continue 5 more centimeters.

At 9 AM my entourage showed up and I got my epidural. They should rename that thing bliss. Seriously.

By 10 AM it was time to push. See how awesome pain meds are for me? I can labor like a beast with those bad boys.

Ronan Fox Johansen made his debut at 10:15 AM. He had the cord around his neck, but thankfully he made his way out so quickly it wasn't an issue. He was a perfect 6lbs 10oz and 19in long.

 Tessa and Ryder wanted to stay for the birth. Daden declined. Having witnessed Lydia's birth he deemed the birthing process "disturbing" and left with his DS for the waiting room.

All together I must say a very satisfying last birth. I don't have any regrets. I gave unmedicated birth my best shot, it didn't work for me and I'm OK with that. We stayed a little more than 24 hours then headed home.
Probably the only thing that wasn't awesome was the food. Seriously if you deliver at Legacy Mt Hood bring your own food. Blech.

The one, the only, Nightman!!

This IS Ryder's birth story. I promise. But to give you the whole picture we need to go back a bit further.

It was June of  2007.

I was just wrapping up my first term at the Art Institute of Portland where I was studying Fashion Design. I was working full time as a visual merchandiser for Nordstrom. Daden was 3, Tessa was 1. I loved my kids, I loved, my job, I loved my classes. Life was amazing, God had blessed me beyond belief.  See how awesome we were!

He was about to bless me a little more.....

People, I was NOT happy. I sat and let Eric hold me while I cried and cried and cried. Was this God's idea of a joke? Seriously? How was I supposed to finally finish school, work full time, and pay for three kids in day care?! We were going to need a bigger car! Eric, bless his heart, stroked my hair and assured me that everything would be fine. I was totally not convinced.

I didn't want to tell anyone. I waited weeks before telling my own parents. I grudgingly admitted it to my boss of all people, who was so excited for me she told everyone at the Clackamas Nordstrom. Which was a bad move because my sister worked there. It didn't take long for someone to spill the beans to her. I got a text message that went something like this:

Dani: Missy are you pregnant?!

Me: Uh.....

Dani: Joey from the ebar just congratulated me on being an aunt thrice! WTH?!

Me: Well, yeah I am.

Dani: ?!?!??!?!?!?!

It did get better though! God worked wonders in my heart and made room for this amazing little man he made. 

Fast forward to February 2008

I had been out of work for close on a month because of preterm labor ickyness. Two weeks before my due date both Daden and Tessa came down with strep throat. So much for bed rest! Oh and I can't forget to mention that Eric lost his job in January. Remember how I was worried about paying for daycare? Problem solved! 

But despite all that I was induced at 39 weeks anyway :P See here I am all hooked up enjoying ice chips. This was after the Evil Midwife left and the awesome, amazing wonderful gift from heaven, midwife showed up. 

Let me explain. He was born at Kaiser Sunnyside, you get who you get. My midwife, who I had been seeing throughout the pregnancy wasn't on on the day we were induced. So when we showed up at 6 AM bright eyed and excited to meet our baby this is what happened; 

Nurse checks us in and hooks up the IV, she leaves to get the midwife. Evil Midwife walks in, grabs my chart, turns around and leaves, not a word. Eric and I exchange nervous glances. Evil Midwife walks back in, sets down my chart and turns to address us. She says "So, we are here for a trail induction."

I look at Eric and back at her and say "Well, I don't know anything about a trial, I am here to have a baby!"

She says "You know that sometimes this doesn't work and if that happens we will be sending you home right?"

I am not totally shocked and intimidated, I don't even know what to say!! So I say, "Uh, OK."

Evil Midwife exit stage left.

We are totally floored. I start to cry and Eric does his best to calm me down when the nurse comes back in to hook up my pitocin. She takes one look at me and says "Sweetie don't worry, shift change is at 9, you'll be just fine!"

We never saw Evil Midwife again.

I labored away in the hospital bed, contractions strong and regular, I am feeling pretty good! Things must be moving right along! Awesome Midwife breezed in at around eleven, introduced herself, asked a few questions including if I wanted her to check my progress. I did. I had been dilated three cm at my appointment the day before and my contractions were starting to be quite strong, so I was sure I was at least 5 by now.

Imagine my dismay when she announced I was dilated to 2. TWO!!! Evil Midwife's warning came flooding back and I am crying again begging not to be sent home. How could I possibly be only twp? She must have checked wrong I was three yesterday and I had been having contractions for hours! Awesome Midwife calmed me down and explained to me that seeing as this was baby #3 my cervix was quite stretchy and that without babies head putting pressure on it it could kind of shrink back down. She promised not to send me home and recommended that I get up out of bed and sit on the birthing ball.

Holy birthing ball Batman. Let me just tell you that sitting on that stupid ball made all the difference in the world. In the span of one contraction I went from painful, to HOLY ($)*@!! I could actually feel Ryders head pressing down with each contraction. I made it about an hour hour and a half on the ball before I started to feel sick to my stomach and had to get up. Eric called the nurse and she came in to check me again. Now I was dilated to six!

Now a different kind of panic set in. Tess was born 30 min after I was dilated to 6. I didn't have an epidural yet! What if the Dr couldn't make it in time? What if I had to deliver without one?! Not to worry, the anesthesiologist was prompt and super efficient. My water broke while he was doing the epidural and in no time I was snug in a dry bed contracting away.

My mom, dad, and sisters all showed up around this time, and we joked and talked waiting for that magic #10!

You guys I kid you not. Ryder's delivery was amazing. I was actually laughing while trying to push. I yelled at my family to stop making me laugh so I could concentrate. Awesome midwife was there coaching me, while the nurse got Alexa all gloved up to help.

Three pushed later and he was here!

I know it's a little gross sorry :P Here's a cuter one!

One last photo, happy birthday Ryder aka Nightman! I could not imagine our family with out your smiling face. I am so thankful every day that God blessed us with you! 

This is it people!

I have a confession to make. I fail at Christmas cards. 

I didn't used to suck!! I used to send them out every year with loving heartfelt messages and carefully selected photos. Over the last few years I kinda fell off the wagon. The evidence?

2011 - I run out of stamps halfway through mailing cards and ask my husband to mail the rest from work. I would write him a check for postage. I should mention I had double pneumonia and was incapable of taking myself to the store to get more stamps. Sometime in April I borrow his car and find the cards I gave him sitting in a pile in the back seat......

2012 - I order cards. They sit in the box they came in under my desk until I finally end up recycling them sometime in June. Shameful I know.

2013 - This year....well, this year I didn't even order them. 

I really do feel awful! I have received many many beautiful cards in the mail from friends and family and each one of them makes me feel super guilty. (Especially the ones from certain ridiculously talented invitation designer I know. Her cards are works of art from the envelope in, every year and I am insanely jealous.) One of my amazing neighbors came over with a plate of cookies she and her triplet girls baked and decorated together, and a beautiful card. As touched and as thankful as I am to receive each of these cards, I allow each one to twist the sharp dagger of guilt just a little more.

But then again......... This year I went to three Christmas parties at school. This year I baked three dozen sugar cookies complete with icing for a Girl Scout party. This year I put together 12 gingerbread houses. Not because we needed 12, but because I screwed up the first batch of royal icing so badly that it ruined the first 6 houses and mom and I had to make a 6 PM the night before the party run to Target to buy six more. And then assemble them. Good times people. This year I threw 3 birthday parties between November and December mostly stress free. I loved on my kids and  kept my house clean. I spent time with my husband. I laughed with my sisters over piles of wrapping paper and "a 40's Christmas" on XM radio.

I think I will cut myself some slack this year and send out this blog post instead. Maybe next year what I really need to do is hire that invitation designer .......

Merry Christmas!

From our family to yours, wishing you all the best for this holiday season and the new year to come.

Melissa, Eric, Daden, Tessa, Ryder, and good old No Name

Yep, baby wishes you a Merry Christmas too!

Happy Birthday Tessa Bear!

Eight years ago I had one child and was about to have another. Our first girl! I was tired. Scratch that, exhausted, cranky, achey, and in general done being pregnant. I love my little Tessa Riley, but man was her pregnancy a tough one! Her birth wasn't a ton better. Not horrific, or traumatizing, thank God. Just not......well, not.
This is what Eric and I were doing on the night before Tessa was born. Hey don't judge me! I swear we were at Eric's bosses tacky Christmas party. Really. As exciting as it was answer "tomorrow" when people asked when the baby was coming, I was bone tired and really wanted to be asleep. Not at a party watching everyone else have cocktails. The food was good though.

There wasn't as large a crowd for Tessa as for Daden. Partly because the maternity wing at Kaiser Sunnyside Hospital was undergoing renovations (which would be complete a few months after Tessa was born, awesome huh?) and our room was TINY. Seriously the tiniest delivery room ever. I am not claustrophobic by any stretch, but I felt it in that room. It's hard to be uncomfortable and cramped all at the same time.
Also because Eric's parents were now at their house with 2 year old Daden. Here he is right here:

Just look at that face! Don't you just want to pinch those cheeks?

My parents, my sisters, Ashley, and Eric made up my audience this time.
I also had an OB for the first (and last!) time. It wasn't my choice, I had a bunch of preterm labor issues with her and they made me see an OB. Don't get me wrong, he was a nice enough guy. But he was of the "I've been delivering babies for 40 years and I know how to do this better then you" mentality. He may have broken my water when I was only three cm, (ouch btw) but I do have to give him credit he managed to get Tess out without any tears or an episiotomy. I heard later there was mineral oil and stretching involved, but all I remember is that it hurt like hell even through my epidural. I actually looked at Eric and cried that I couldn't do it. Bless his soul he looked right in my eyes and said "yes you can". I love that man.
(I'm crying now remembering this. Stupid pregnancy hormones!)

Anyway here we are waiting.

Who remembers the flip phone? I think she's texting...

See how tiny? Not cool.

Here we are it's go time! I got my epidural at 5 PM, when I was 5.5 CM dilated. At 5:40 I demanded that the nurses check me again I felt so much pressure. They didn't want to because they just had forty min ago. Tessa was born at 5:54. Take that nurses.

Tessa was born! Look at these three! They are so freaking excited, I love them.

Here she is. All 6 lbs 4 oz and 20 inches of her. Look at those cheeks!! Man oh man did she scream. It should have been an omen....

I kid. (Not really)

This picture is making me cry right now.

And just like that we were a family of four. AWESOME.

I have to say, though the food was abysmal, my recovery from Tessa's birth was nothing short of miraculous. SO much different then with Daden. I didn't have the whole passing urine problem. Probably because I made the nurses leave the catheter in until the next morning. I had zero desire to repeat that first night with Daden. I even did better and let Tess sleep in the bassinet for a little while. Hey a gal needs to be able to hold her coffee. Though I did spend copious amounts of time staring into her perfect little face. 

By the next morning I was up and about in my tiny little recovery room. I had let Eric go home to sleep, no sense in both of us losing sleep in that tiny hospital room. Besides if I let him out of the hospital he can bring me starbucks on the way back in! I'm a thinker. Eric was shocked to see how alert and chipper I was the next morning and I admit I totally felt a difference. 

Fast forward eight years and here we are

Happy birthday my sweet love. Always my baby girl, I have treasured every moment of watching you grow and change into this beautiful young lady. (Yes even the moments when you are being naughtier than I ever imagined possible) I am proud of you, and I am proud to be your mother. 

Someday you will be a mother yourself and you will understand the fierce love that means being a mother. The kind that allows you to keep on loving even when you come in from pulling weeds and your daughter and her friend are sitting on top of the kitchen table with bath towels trying to mop up the paint and water they spilled EVERYWHERE. 

In hindsight, I really should have taken a picture of that.........

Ten years ago today

Didn't I cover how times flies in the last post? Maybe I did. Well it bears repeating because today my oldest son turns 10! That's right people, he's a whole decade old. I am not a decade older....but somehow he's 10. Something weird in the time space continuum, you'd have to be a Time Lord to understand...

Today's post is dedicated to his birth. 

My first birth. It was awesome. 

It was quick, six total hours of labor, 30 min of pushing. 

It was fun! 

You will see in the pictures how many people were there to support me, and no I do not have a shred of modesty left. Lets break it down:

Eric was there, of course

My mom

My dad

Eric's mom

Eric's grandma

Eric's dad, though he waited in the lobby

Danielle

Alexa

Ashley

Jennifer

Kellyn

1 midwife

3 nurses 

and a partridge in a pear tree!

It never even occurred to me that this might be a lot of people. In hindsight my midwife gets an award for delivering a baby with a stadium full of people. Below are some of my favorite pictures from his birth. I left out anything graphic. My dad actually had strict instructions to not photograph anything too gory, but it was his first grandchild, he got a little carried away. Bless him.

Here we go!
For the few weeks proceeding my induction I had been trucking up from our house all the way to OHSU every three days for an NST and AFI. I had been told, that depending on the results of those tests that I needed to be prepared to stay and have a baby. However after two weeks of testing and being sent home sans baby, I was less than convinced that I was ever going to stay and have that baby.
Early on the morning of December 11th Eric and I got up and got ready to head to OHSU for testing, yet again. I was in a less than fantastic mood and skipped breakfast. I also left my hospital bag at home because you know, I was not going to stay and have a baby.
I was wrong.

We were waiting in the lobby for the test results, imagine my surprise when instead of the nurse the midwife popped her head into the waiting room and announced it was baby time! Fortunately my mother was kind enough to stop by my house and get my hospital bag. Knowing that I wouldn't be allowed to eat once labor started I begged my midwife to let me eat before they started pitocin. She laughed and ordered me a grilled cheese and tomato soup from the cafeteria.

Fast forward a few uneventful hours of laboring and an epidural, my entourage has shown up.

The peanut gallery anxiously awaits the report from the midwife. She says its' go time! Can you see the excitement on their faces?

The next two pictures are probably my favorite two pictures ever. Danielle got to help deliver Daden so she is gloved up standing next to my business, Jennifer, Ashley, and Alexa are leaning in so they won't miss a thing.

LOL I laugh every single time I look at these seriously. Daden's head was crowning at this point and their reaction is priceless.

Here he is!!! All 6lbs 3oz and 19.5 inches of him. He was perfect if I do say so myself. And I do, you know cause I'm his mom.

My first look, and my first child. I was absolutely in love. I forgot all about the last six hours and just stared into his tiny perfect face. 

After this they whisked him away and weighed and measured and bathed. Someone brought me a GIANT turkey sandwich and chips which reminded me how hungry I was. It was seriously the best sandwich ever. I didn't know, but while I was eating my midwife has my placenta all stretched out on a tray and was showing the girls all the different parts and explaining how everything worked. I'm a little sorry I missed it! 

After everything calmed down it was time to move to recovery. The nurse brought over a wheelchair to take me to our room. I looked her right in the face and told her I was NOT going to ride in that I would be walking TYVM. She laughed and told me that if I could get out of bed and stand on my own I was welcome to walk. Two things, one it was a good thing I was not holding Daden, and two it was a VERY good thing that Eric was standing next to me. I rode in the wheelchair.

That night I experienced pain worse than labor. I was too swollen to pass urine and it took FOREVER to get the OB to come in and examine me and approve a catheter. I had two very unsympathetic nurses (thanks midnight shift change) and by the time they cathed me I was in so much pain I was sobbing. The mean nurse hooked up the bag wrong and ended up with pee all over her scrubs and my bed. Which did mean I had to get up so she could change the sheets, but I didn't care, mean nurse has pee all over her and my bladder didn't feel like it was ripping in half anymore. They got two liters out of my bladder. 

I held Daden the entire first night. I never once put him in the bassinet. Which I don't recommend by the way. My arm was shaking so bad from muscle fatigue the next morning I could barely hold my coffee! But I couldn't help myself,  I couldn't stop staring at his beautiful tiny face. I look into his face now and see a miniature version of my husband. Down to the dimples, and the "I'm up to no good but you love me anyway" smile. The last ten years have held so much magic, wonder, heartache, and headache, but I wouldn't trade any of it for a moment without him.

Happy birthday little dude. Your mom and dad love you more then you will ever know.

That is until the day when you have your own child.....

Well this is embarrassing.....

Uh, wow.

When I woke up this morning and felt the itch to write a blog post, I had NO idea that it had been two years since my last posting. I thought maybe it had been a year which is bad enough. But TWO years? Awkward........so assuming that after two years I still have readers, I present to you, the first posting of 2013!

This was kind of an uneventful year. Don't get me wrong, uneventful is not a bad thing! While it does make for a smaller, less impressive yearly photo album, it was nice to have a quiet year after last years craziness! I missed a huge opportunity last year not blogging about my sisters wedding. SO many cool photos and happenings there. Alas.
The coolest thing I did this year? Eric and I took our first vacation without our kids since our honeymoon. It was amazing! We spent four beautiful, sunny days in Anaheim California. The main reason for our trip (aside from time alone with each other) was to attend BlizzCon. For those of you who have no idea what that is, it's a convention put on by Blizzard Entertainment to showcase their current games, announce new ones, and host the finals for the world arena tournaments. It. Was. Epic. I was absolutely blown away by the scope of the event and the number of people in attendance. Which came in at around 20,000. Amazing
We watched art presentations, sound demonstrations, pretty darn epic costume contest, and we got to try out the new World of Warcraft expansion; Warlords of Draenor.

After BlizzCon we were so fortunate to meet up with our good friends (and newlyweds!), Danny and Mirna. We spent a fantastic day in Disneyland and California Adventure. I have to say, taking my kids to Disneyland was a wonderful, magical experience that I honestly can't wait to have again. That said, going to Disneyland with just my husband has a magic all it's own. With the added bonus of being able to look at whatever I want in the shops without someone asking for a toy every second :P 

I also learned that Disneyland all decorated for Christmas is my new favorite thing. Sorry mom, your house looks awesome, but Mr Disney out did you on lights!

This is happening. It was a pretty big surprise, not going to lie. And while I am over the moon excited to have another baby, I fully admit to being just a tiny bit apprehensive about where the new baby is going to live. And also how we will afford said baby. However I fully believe that the good Lord provided this baby and he will provide for it's care. Which I am sure involves teaching me to be more frugal!

I am excited to sit back and enjoy this pregnancy. I am not working this time round, and I vow to enjoy every min of growing this little miracle, instead of worrying about throwing up at work. 

I am excited to go into labor on my own! (I hope) Daden, Tessa, and Ryder were all planned inductions. While I had three very successful deliveries, I feel like I missed out a little. I am looking forward to the excitement of "it's time"!

I am excited to nurse longer! I failed each and every time pumping at work for the last three and this time I am determined to nurse longer than three months! I always felt so bad cutting them off while they were still so little.

I am excited to enjoy watching a baby grow without counting down the days until I have to leave it to go back to work.

I am absolutely dying to find out whether it's a boy or girl. DYING.  I am 12 weeks pregnant and 8 more weeks just seems way too long to wait to find out. I have looked up all sorts of at home/old wives tales to find out early. So far the ancient Chinese gender prediction chart says girl. The baking soda test says girl. My gut kinda says boy. 

Can I tell you a secret? I really, really, hope it's a girl. Does that make me a bad mom? :P